Countering the False Promises of the Trafficker
The assumption surrounding trafficking survivors is that if we provide them with basic needs and show them some compassion, they will melt into our arms, thank us, and go gracefully into their new life. If only it were that easy. Why doesn’t that work? Why would they ever stay in the life?
The answer is that the same process we use to restore their soul, is the same process their trafficker uses to manipulate them into the life of sex trafficking. In 1943, Abraham Maslow wrote a paper called: A Theory of Human Motivation. In this paper he introduced us to the “Hierarchy of Needs”. This model consists of 5 levels that explain our needs as they should be fulfilled.
We fulfill the first need, which is physiological, by providing food, clothing, and hygiene products. That is a need the trafficker fulfilled also. The second need is safety. While we will provide her with shelter, he will do the same and tell her he will protect her from the “bad guys”. He may house her with other girls in the same situation to show her that they trust him, so she should also.
We then offer her a solid support system in our team, reaching the third level of social needs and belonging. People she can depend on to guide and comfort her. Our guidance is positive and comes from a place of love. His support appears to be the same thing at first. He tells her he only wants the best for her. Our support looks remarkably similar.
Level four in the hierarchy is esteem. He is also telling her that she is special to him. She is the smartest, prettiest, and most valuable to him. She is not like the others. He loves her and only her. We too, are trying to restore her self-esteem. We encourage her to recognize her self-worth. We tell her she is valued as a human being. We try to convince her that we see her as more than the sum of her body parts. We try to refresh and rebuild her soul.
Finally, we reach the pinnacle of self-actualization. This is where we show her a dream of her future self. Our team may show her a life filled with education, a career, financial independence, a home, and family. A life of fulfillment where she could become a mentor to others and restore and heal herself.
Her trafficker sells a dream too. One where she no longer is sold, where she joins him in a loving, healthy relationship. They go on to get married, have a family, and he takes care of her. He makes it sound so attractive that she cannot see through his manipulations. He makes her believe she is his partner, not his victim.
So, how do we rise up against the deceitful promises of his serpent-like tongue? The Beloved Haven team starts by knowing him as well as we know her. We counter his influence with our stamina. We do not give up on her. That is the difference. We understand her relationship with him. We see that she needs understanding, and authentic love. We know she may be torn by her sense of loyalty to him. We know it may take her a few times of leaving and going back to the life she has known for years. We do not give up. We give our clients a new vision of hope. We fulfill her needs with the legitimacy she deserves. Our devotion to her, unlike her trafficker, is unconditional. That is what makes Beloved Haven meet our clients’ needs for as long as they need us to do so.
